


Sorry Stevie

by richell3roush



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, Other, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 05:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3598122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richell3roush/pseuds/richell3roush
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear Stevie,</p><p>   Hey its almost been a month. I still think about you every day. I can’t help it but I beat myself up every day for not doing something sooner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sorry Stevie

**Author's Note:**

> If someone close to you has died, don't read this, just don't, it's really triggering. Just click out of this, I'm sorry.

 

    _Dear Stevie,_

_Hey its almost been a month. I still think about you every day. I can’t help it but I beat myself up every day for not doing something sooner. Sam and Natasha have been helping me. Sam told me you used to go to the gym and take out your feelings on some punching bags. I tried it the other day, but all I could think about was you doing it instead of me. I had to stop because I broke too many punching bags. I do your morning run every day now, the same route you went on Stevie. I do about 5 miles a day. I miss you. I went down to the VA with Sam once, I didn’t like it. Sam said it was okay because you didn’t like it either. Natasha thinks i'm turning into you. Today was rough, but it was better than most because I only thought about killing myself a couple times. I sleep in your bed still. The sheets are still dirty because I refuse to wash anything you've touched. Bruce says I have depression, I sure hope I don’t. One day we'll be together again. Until then I guess i’ll just have to suffer through life. I love you Stevie. I miss you. Im sorry.                                                            Love, Bucky._

_Dear Stevie,_

_Sorry I haven’t written in a few months, i’ve been trying to participate in life. maybe get out of this so called “depression” Its not working Stevie. They cleaned out your apartment. I have my own now Stevie, I got my own apartment. They let me keep most of your stuff but they kept some of it. I wear your clothes every day. I haven’t been washing them regularly though. I also make sure to buy the same soap and air freshener you used to buy. I guess it helps a bit. It’s still really hard. They say if I don’t show improvement in Therapy they're going to send me to a loony bin, can you believe it Stevie, a loony bin. They think im crazy. Maybe I am crazy. Your birthday is coming up. You were gonna turn 100. This is hard Stevie. I don’t know how much longer i can wait to see you. I might some soon. Im sorry Stevie, I love you, I miss you._

_Love, Bucky_

_Dear Stevie,_

_HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU OLD FART. I made you a cake. ~~I cried in the shower this morning.~~ I wanted to give you a birthday kiss. Yep thats what I said, a kiss. Cause I love you punk. I was gonna tell you that night. Thats why i followed you to the bridge. We both know i was too late of course. I didn’t think you were gonna do it ya know, I thought you were just feeling the wind on your face. Who woulda guessed. If someone told me you were gonna leave me I wouldn’t believe them, I guess i would now. I remember calling out to you just as you stepped off. You saw me when i got to the ledge, You looked so scared. When i pulled you out you were already gone. Oh boy i don't think you know how much of a shocker that was. After you had gotten the serum i thought i wouldn't have to worry about liquid filling your lungs and taking you away. I wish i had more time with you. I miss you, Im sorry. I love you Stevie._

_Love, Bucky._

_Dear Stevie,_

_Its been a year now. I still don’t believe you're gone. They put me in the loony bin after all. It was the day after your birthday. Natasha found me hangin on a roap. Got to me just in time. I was almost there Stevie. I was coming to see you. I miss you Stevie. I love you._

_Love, Bucky_

_Dear Stevie,_

_I’m coming, be ready to greet me at the door. See you soon Stevie, I love you Stevie. Love, Bucky._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry you had to read that. Ohmygod. Late nights and urges to write. If you're still alive tell me what you think! Thank you!


End file.
